so i realize i haven't told most of you about my script-turned-better-script that was began by myself and

just a really quick update for you guys while my beautiful little girl is sleeping in the next room.

Lizzy is gorgeous, just turned one month old yesterday. she is 9 lbs 12 oz.  she had a bout with thrush, but it's going away.
she was really fussy and gassy, and we had to switch her formula to prosobee, which is a soy formula. she is doing so well now. going 4 hours between feedings, so it doesn't feel like we're feeding her and that's all we're doing all day... you know, consuming our day. she is doing so well. 

it's so funny because Lizzy learned that she's the one moving her arms, and she throws them up over her head and stretches so often! she was turning her hand over one way and then the other and just checking it out for Terry a few days ago. She lifts her head up and her eyes are open so wide, just taking in the world you know? it's amazing how much she has learned in one month. She'll coo and "talk" to me now. It's crazy how much you can love someone that's only been in your life, well i guess 11 months counting when i was pregnant.

I went back to work, so from 5-11 or 4-10 at night you know where to find me. it's going really well. Everyone that I had trained super-well though they moved to day shift while I was gone, because they figure that's where they need the good people, I guess.   That sort of pisses me off, and also another thing that pisses me off is that they are going to make a manager that's been there exactly the same amount of time as me salary management. that makes me crazy, because I know that she's no better than me, I'm just more laid-back, and evidently, that's not what they look for in a salary manager, someone who can get along with their crew. I mean- i'm not the type of person that talks down to people. these are highschool kids- probably in their first job- i've been there too. I can't tell someone who is 3 or 4 years younger than me that I'm so much better than them. It's just not my nature to do that to someone, and if they can't understand that than fine, don't promote me. I'll stay on my evenings, and stay a swing manager. I don't particularly want to, because I could use the pay raise that comes with being salaried management, but if being salaried means I have to be condesending and talk down to people, I'll stay where I am, thank you very much. i mean seriously- fuck that.

on another note, we didn't want to leave, but Terry and his dad had a huge falling out- to the point that we didn't feel safe having our little girl there anymore with him. You should have heard the threatening messages he left on our phone. I really wish you guys could, so someone besides us and Terry's mom would understand why we are leaving. So we are in the process of moving AGAIN, back into Terry's mom's house until HUD moves us through, which they said would probably be about 5 weeks or so.  I expect to be all moved in here 2 weeks from now at the latest.

totally off subject- do you guys know how a song gets stuck in your head for days? well, it's been two for me.

after a very long hard labor, my little girl is finally here.
my labor started at 6:30 a.m. on may 27th with my water breaking, and culminated with over 3 hours of pushing for her. 
i tried to get an epidural, but i just happened to be one of 30% of women that the epidural doesn't work on their vaginal area, so when i began pushing, it was all natural! 
she was born may 28th- memorial day
at 1:56 a.m. 
she was 7 lbs. 14 oz.
21 inches long

her name is Lizzy Blaze.

birth story is still to be written and cross-posted to pregnant and here.





is she gorgeous or what?

so, am I happy with the top 3 on American Idol?

as far as Jordin & Blake, yeah. 

Jordin is amazing. Cannot believe that voice is coming out of someone that is younger than me.

Blake- he is unique. more unique than any other Idol I can remember. and while I don't like all of the things he does, I do like that he is different. Different makes me happy.

Now as far as Melinda goes, she's really good. Her voice and her performance ability are awesome, but her look isn't really star quality for me. I just feel like that's something that is practically a requirement to be a big recording star. It truly surprises me that she and LaKisha got as far as they did anyway. ( I feel mean saying that!)

So yeah- I'm pulling for the finale to be Jordin and Blake- Jordin pulling through with the win.

GO JORDIN!

But you know, i can't say i'll be truly disappointed if she ends up # 2. Blake would be good, too.

In other news, still waiting on the baby. Wish she was here. Maybe I'll have her tomorrow for Mother's Day. Hopefully.

tagged by Christina!

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five other people to do the same.

So i didn't actually start at the 23rd page, because it was just the intro to the book. this is from Neil Gaiman's collection "smoke and mirrors" and it's on the 23rd page after the stories start. it is an excerpt from a short story called "the price."

The devil twisted and writhed, and now it was some kind of jackal, a flat-faced, huge-headed, bull-necked creature, halfway between a hyena and a dingo. There were maggots squirming in its mangy fur, and it began to walk up the steps. 
The black cat leapt upon it, and in seconds they became this rolling, writhing thing, moving faster than my eyes could follow. 

I don't really care who does this. i was just tagged, so i had to. if you want to do it, just do it... it really is pretty fun.

and now for another excerpt from that book. i love this. gaiman put it in his christmas cards and sent it to people.

Nicholas Was....

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic Caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas, HIs punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

I wanted to be with you alone
And talk about the weather
But traditions I can trace against the child in your face
Won’t escape my attention
You keep your distance with a system of touch
And gentle persuasion
I’m lost in admiration could I need you this much
Oh, you’re wasting my time
You’re just wasting time

Something happens and I’m head over heels
I never find out till I’m head over heels
Something happens and I’m head over heels
Ah don’t take my heart
Don’t break my heart
Don’t throw it away

I made a fire and watching it burn
Thought of your future
With one foot in the past now just how long will it last
No no no have you no ambition
My mother and my brothers used to breathe in clean air
And dreaming I’m a doctor
It’s hard to be a man when there’s a gun in your hand
Oh I feel so…

Something happens and I’m head over heels

And this my four leaf clover
I’m on the line, one open mind
This is my four leaf clover

income taxes check came in. i feel rich.